The mommy gap

I'm noticing a widening gap amongst my mommy friends. As I've mentioned before, I sometimes long for the days when things seemed simpler. My fellow mommys all had pretty much the same rules back then. First and foremost, were big on safety and peace. We all encouraged sharing and no one let our kids play in the street or bonk someone else over the head. :-)



Now we often see things differently. While some of us routinely leave the kids home alone for short periods or drop them off at the movie or football game, others still allow parties and sleepovers only at the home of truly trusted friends. Some have allowed their girls to wear makeup, heels, and string bikinis while others are trying to keep their girls dressing, well, girlish. Some kids have cell phones and IM at will, while others are allowed on the net only for school work. And why am I getting the feeling that things will only get stickier from here on out?


It's definitely not always about right and wrong anymore, it's more about figuring out what's right for my girls. That's why I am so glad to be able to lean on the Lord. I find myself doing so more and more about lots of things, but parenting my 'tweens in particular. I know that I couldn't begin to figure it all out without him.



Thank you Lord for continuing to provide us with the wisdom and discernment to make the right choices for our girls. In your name I pray, Amen.



Teach me in your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path.

Psalm 27:11 (NIV

It doesn't have to be good...

It's extraordinary just how much "stuff'" my kids require on any given week! We had three birthday presents to buy this past weekend, one apple for science class, a foam board for art, a children's book and matching costume for the kindergarten book parade, two baseball hats for cap day, and two dozen cookies to bake for a good behavior party at school. Last night, just as we had FINALLY settled down on the couch, our 5 year old came to us with yet another item request. My hubby sighed as he got up and wandered over to the cabinets in search of a food item to contribute to the school's drive and P. hopped anxiously around the kitchen. It was slim pickings in our pantry as I'm due to head to the store for our big monthly shopping trip at the end of the week. Getting impatient P. tried to help, "It doesn't have to be good Dad. It only has to be in a can. If we bring in the most cans we get an ice cream party!"

Maybe I was just way overtired, but that struck me as so funny. Yup, any old can will do. I'm thinking I'll be hunting for sprinkles and nuts for said ice cream next week.

East to West by Casting Crowns

I'm toying with the idea of "Musical Mondays". Here's one of my current favorites, enjoy.

Now Hiring: Parents

A friend shared the below with me, enjoy!

Position(s) Available:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

Job Description:
Long term team players needed for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings, weekends, and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

Responsibilities:
A lifelong commitment. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from 0-60mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not just someone crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets, and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars, and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have the ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute and an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Other responsibilities include floor maintenance and general janitorial work throughout the facility.

Possibility for promotion or advancement:
None! Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

Previous Experience:
None required, unfortunately!
On-the-job training offered on a continually, exhaustive basis.

Wages and Compensation:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonus. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse salary scheme is that you'll actually enjoy it and wish you could give more!

Benefits:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays, and no stock options are offered this job does supply limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life. If you play your cards right.

Important Disclosure:
There is NO RETIREMENT, EVER!!!



What an exciting career opportunity... ummm.. calling. Thank you God for accepting my application.

Foto Friday 4

Here are a few of our favorite local sites for those of you who haven't visited us yet (hint, hint). We love walking along the Savannah river and haven't seen a gator yet. We also enjoy Stone Mountain. Lake Thurmond is just gi-normous and a great place to kayak. Amicalola falls, the highest water fall east of the Mississippi, may be the prettiest of all.

A letter to God...

As a proud mommy I just had to share with you what one of my girls penned yesterday...

Dear God,
I hope Suzy doesn't feel sad. Well, Suzy is a new girl in our mission zone class at church. She and her family were missionaries in a far away country for a couple of years. She seems sad leaving her friends there. I was in the same position when I moved from New Hampshire. I lived there for half of my life, five years! I had to leave my friends too. People here helped me to feel welcome, so I want to make her feel welcome. Can you please help me God?!?
Love,
C.

I'm reminded once again what an awesome gift I've been given by the Lord. Witnessing the faith of my children never feels to inspire me and uplift my spirits. You get the picture....

That's all for today. I'm off to write my own letter to God.

*Although I didn't edit this letter for content I did change the names and places to protect the privacy of both girls and got C's permission to share.*

On forgiveness

The Lord has shown me that I still have lots of work to do in this area. I personally turned a corner when I finally realized that forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a choice. To that end peacemaker ministries has some really great resources for anyone looking to work on this themselves (and who doesn't need to), particularly their 4 promises of forgiveness. I share these because they were so transforming for me, allowing me to make forgiveness choices everyday and providing concrete benchmarks along the way.

1. I will not dwell on this incident.



2. I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.



3. I will not talk to others about this incident.



4. I will not let this incident stand between us and hinder our personal relationship

Now I won't pretend that putting these steps into action is easy, but it provided a great starting point for me. This is exactly the forgiveness that God gave to us and continues to dole out daily. We are asked by Him to do the same for others. He's pretty clear on that. In fact, when I took a look at the concordance in my Bible I found more than 80 references! One that's been on my heart today keeps it simple...

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV emphasis mine)

Praying for rain...

It's hard not to take certain things for granted these days. I often forget to thank God for the basics: my home, my food, my health, and yes... my water. I knew it was a dry year here. Last year was too, but it's somehow different when there's a number attached to it. Our brothers and sisters in north Georgia our facing that number now... 90 days. Just three or four months of water are left in Lake Lanier and we have to wonder how far behind our own reservoir can be.

The Bible tells us repeatedly to pray about our needs. This passage in James has been on my heart:

Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and annoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.
James 5:13-14 (NIV)

There's a bit of rain potential in the forecast this week, and I think it's time to turn our faces heavenward and pray. Please join me in praying for much needed rain, for the wisdom and discernment of our government officials as they decide how to allocate the resevoir's existing water, and that we'll all be better stewards of the water resources which God has already provided.

And, if you read a bit further in James you'll find that rain is specifically mentioned.

Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.
James 5:17-18(NIV)

You'll find more information about Georgia's drought here .

Thank you for your prayers.

A Yankee?

Don't get me wrong, we truly enjoy most aspects of making our home here in Georgia. One thing that's been a bit of an adjustment though is often being referred to as yankees. I was recently rather embarrased when our doctor, himself a New Yorker, commented to our five year old that he was a yankee too. It was one of our first visits to him, so I was taken aback when she responded with hands on hips, stamping her feet, and a bit red faced that she was absolutely NOT A YANKEE! Thankfully our doc has children of his own, a great sense of humor, and as a New Yorker immediately realized his faux pas.

We do take our baseball rather seriously in New England. We like to have something to complain and worry about besides the weather. We've passed along our membership in Red Sox nation to our children and they have an extreme distaste for all things Yankee. So while all northerners may be yankees, we are most definitely not Yankees! That's why I couldn't let today go by without saying ...

GO SOX!!!

Back to serious ramblings tomorrow, but for today I'm going to catch up on my sleep, savor the sweet taste of victory, and enjoy my heritage as a New Englander.

Marathon motherhood

Okay, so I am definitely not a runner! I have realized though that motherhood often resembles running. I'm betting this is why I'm always so tired?!?

I've learned over the years that the race I run daily more closely resembles a marathon than a sprint. It's become much more about endurance and less about reaching the finish line. Be warned, this is kind of a follow-up to Thursday's post, guess I'm feeling particularly reflective this week...

I once thought that when my girls reached a certain age, they'd need me less. Each milestone would bring independence and I'd be phased out, for better or for worse. As with so many things I've found that I had it all wrong. My older girls don't need me any less, it's just that their needs have evolved over time. I remember fondly the days when everything was so clear cut. Yes, you can play with play dough. No, you can't play with the stove!

Now it seems like we're entering murky waters. Should they wear those particular clothes, see that movie, spend time with that certain friend? Nothing seems quite so clear anymore, but the stakes seem somehow higher. At least I don't need to worry about not being needed :-).


Thankfully, I know that I can rely on the Lord to help me to both navigate through this motherhood maze and to give me the energy to keep on running. I know that this is one race that I intend to finish well...


However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me...



Acts 20:24(NIV)

Foto Friday 3

This week it's short and sweet. As you can see littlest is growing up fast and is drooling... A LOT! Enjoy!

Milestones

Childhood and mommyhood are both full of firsts. I remember that with my oldest girls I eagerly anticipated some of those milestones. I couldn't wait for them to take their first steps, say their first words, etc.

It's funny how things can change! I'll admit that with our younger ones I have a much different attitude. While I do my best to cheer them on, those same milestones are just as likely to bring tears these days. Sure, everyone told me that time would fly, but until I had actually experienced it I just didn't quite get it. I've tried to hurry less and enjoy more these last few years and, for the most part, I've been successful.

I've never been the type to keep up with baby books either. I admire those of you who do, but I've just never found the time. I was thinking this week though about all the firsts I've been blessed to be involved in just this year. Here are a few...

• Our first set of braces went on and off (that could have been our priciest first)
• Our first school dances (Yikes!)
• Our five year old tied her shoes and rode the big bus for the first time
• Our nine year old auditioned for her first singing part (and got it)
• And yes, littlest is cutting a tooth and sleeping through the night

Well, from where I sit that's a pretty impressive list! It reminds me of just how blessed I am to be in the midst of all of this. I have a church friend with two young children under five who is struggling with a severe illness right now. She worries that she might not be present for her little ones someday. I often take it all for granted, but I do realize that each and every day, each and every milestone is truly a gift from Him.

Thank you Lord for granting me so many mommy moments...

There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV)

What next?

Some days I just want to put the girls into a proverbial bubble and hide... today is one of those days. A friend forwarded the below to me, it's pretty scary stuff.

http://pressherald.mainetoday.com/story.php?id=140910&ac=PHnws

I hope I'm not alone here, but I am saddened and a bit, well,... ill at the thought of us making contraception more widely available to middle schoolers!!! I also wonder when it was that we as a society decided that a child's right to privacy trumped our parental duty to keep our children safe!

Releasing Beauty

My older girls are participating in a great Bible study with this name. It got me thinking this week about just what releasing beauty means, and how it relates to my role as a mother. For some insight I peeked at an online dictionary and found the following:

release

1. to free from confinement, bondage, obligation, pain, etc.; let go

2. to free from anything that restrains, fastens, etc.

3. to allow to be known, issued, done, or exhibited

beauty

1. the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).

Most Christians know that God is in control of their lives, yet we often allow fears and anxieties to cripple us. Though I worry daily about the fallen world that my girls are subjected to, I must resolve to trust that God is BIG enough to handle their futures. He has a plan for them, a plan to release their beauty. I'm here to help them learn to trust in His perfect plan for their lives.

I don't know yet what specific roles they will play in His plan, but I can't wait to find out! Until God someday reveals the big picture I hope that they'll live each day reflecting and releasing their beauty to the world as a powerful testimony to His love for them and for us all.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity."
~Jeremiah 29:11-14a (NIV)

Buckled In

Like many moms of today I'm pretty safety conscious. I'm big on bike helmets, life jackets, baby monitors, and internet filters, just to name a few. I take my carseats pretty seriously too. When we were expecting our little one last spring I spent lots of time comparing the various infant seats, checking their softness, reading online safety reviews, and finally have it checked by a certified carseat technician once it was installed. Now I'm getting tendinitis (from lugging said seat with baby in it) and we're ready to begin shopping again for a larger variety. Here we go again!

I was thinking a bit about my compulsion to protect and cradle my girls. I find it comforting to remember that God goes to great lengths to do the same for me. How wonderful to know that he holds us just as securely as any carseat. In fact, I think he's the one that taught me how mommies hold hands in the first place. I don't ever worry that my child is going to let go of my hand in a busy parking lot, because I'm not concerned about their grip. I've got them and I know I won't let go, even if the unexpected happens.



Thank you Lord for keeping me "buckled in".





Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders.

Deuteronomy 33:12 (NIV)

Foto Friday 2

As promised, here is another round of pictures. Don't forget to leave a comment and let me know you visited. The last few weeks have still been pretty warm here in the sunny south, but it has finally started to cool off a bit. Still lots of time to play outside as you can see. See you next week!

Making a statement

I was out and about with littlest the other day and someone noticed her fuzzibunz as I was changing her. She asked me if I was making an "environmental statement". Hhhmmm, well... no. I think I was diapering my child! :-)I politely said that we just liked using them, asked if she had any questions, and left it at that.

If you're lost (or even mildly interested) check out
fuzzibunz here. They can tell you why lots of people choose to use them. As for me, I think they are just too cute, seem oh so comfy, save us a few bucks, and I quite simply have the time this go around.


Oh, and just for the record... If I was going to make a "statement" it wouldn't be on a piece of cloth secured to my baby's bottom. I think I'd at least opt for a t-shirt or even a bumper sticker. Here's a cute slogan I saw recently...



"Life's short, pray hard" Eph. 6:18





Honestly I care much more deeply about the spiritual state of the world my children will someday inherit. Global warming... not so much.

Wrestling

I'm tired. My life lately feels like one big wrestling match. I hate it when that happens! I've really been struggling with a few things. It all starts out gently enough. God speaks... first in the quietest of whispers. "Did I really hear that at all?" Then he nudges me, just a little. As a seasoned mom and wife I'm good at tuning out when I want to. My kids and hubby are experts and they've trained me well! I've found out the hard way that God doesn't like to be ignored. Who does? So, he turns up the volume a little. Covering my ears like a two year old I begin to yell, "I still can't hear you!" What were once little pokes have graduated to pushes now, knocking me off balance. Till once again I find myself in the thick of it, wrestling with Him. I'll be honest- I'll resort to any diversionary tactic sometimes. See I'm comfortable and happy where I'm at. Not sure at all I want to go where he's leading me.

The specifics of this battle aren't important. Suffice it to say that here I am again, kicking and screaming. Wonder if I'll ever learn. He's starting to get the better of me, I'll admit reluctantly. He'll actually drag me if He needs to. He's done it before. I wonder when I'll give in to His will. One thing I'm sure of, He's not going to let up until I say "Uncle!". I don't know where I'd be if He wasn't so gosh darn persistent!

Okay, I take that back. I know exactly where I would be... stuck. Stuck in patterns that where once "good enough" but just don't work any more. Stuck in the rut of living for myself and others instead of for Him. I'm so glad he gave me a mustard seed worth of faith, but sometimes it's still hard to actually put this faith into practice. It seems so much easier to wrap it in a pretty box, tie it with a bow, and stick it up to be admired. Do I really have to DO something with it? Something that may be uncomfortable, scary, or even a bit sacrificial? This whole process of sanctification can really be a bit messy, and well... tiring.





Additional thoughts on wrestling...

"Faith is not getting man's will done on heaven. It is getting God's will done on earth." -Adrian Rogers

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2(NIV)

On Technology

Have I told you lately how much I dig Ebay? Go ahead, think of some random item. Maybe something you saw today in Target or some long lost favorite toy from your childhood. Got it?Okay, now hit Ebay. Nine times out of ten you'll find it! It's like the whole world at your fingertips. I've bought and sold way too many strange things there myself. Here are just a few:
1)fertile duck eggs (for a 4-H incubation project)
2)baby clothes(well- not so random)
3)a concert video from 1988 that DH found buried in the garage(someone paid us a whole $12 for it)

Well, you get the picture...

How about ordering a pizza online? How cool is that? Ditto for mapquest- on a recent vacation we took the trusty notebook pc with us and figured out what we wanted to do AND how to get there! Google and the other search engines just amaze me. Heck, I never really have to visit the bank anymore with direct deposit and online banking. I often don't carry cash either! For that matter, I don't use many stamps now a days. Email and online bill pay cover most all my correspondance needs. Don't even get me started on You Tube. I could even log in to read my Bible and hear a mighty fine sermon from my church. Do I ever need to leave the house?!?

Well yes, I can log onto Web MD or the like, but once in a while we might need to visit a real, old fashioned doc. We headed in last week for littlest's well baby check-up. And what do you know? Their computer system was down. Since they do ENTIRELY computerized charting now (who needs those bulky folders anyway) they were... well... in trouble, to say the least. They had no idea which patients were coming in as they have a handy dandy computerized appointment system. Gee, did mighty mite gain any weight? Well, our poor frazzled doc just didn't have a clue... literally. The nurse didn't even know what developmental questions to ask. Thank goodness mommy was there to fill in some of the blanks!

Now, we have great docs. I'm sure they have all their records "backed up" and "archived" and all that good stuff. But they just weren't very handy. Thank goodness it was just a well baby check up, ya know?

By the way.... Have you googled yourself lately? You may want to try typing in your name or your even your phone number. You may be surprised by what you find!



Thank you God for technology... I think.

E.G.G. Hunts

Thought I'd share one of our new family traditions with you all. It's a year round tradition, not a holiday one, which makes it even better as far as I'm concerned. We've begun hunting for E.G.Gs. No, not the Easter variety. It's a bit late in the year for that. We've been hunting for Evidences of God's Grace. These E.G.G.s can be found in most places, most any time. It just takes a bit of looking...

I found one this morning as a matter of fact. My E.G.G was in the telephone. I had woken up this morning feeling tired and a little homesick. It's happened to all of us from time to time since our move. Well, the phone rang and it was a wonderful old friend. After some catching up I was ready to face the day with a smile.

When you choose to begin your own hunt I'll bet that you find lots of your own. I've met E.G.G's at soccer games, encountered them while driving, and even found them in my sugar bowl (please don't ask). The kids find them too, in the classroom and on the playground. E.G.G's are hiding everywhere. And, if you're really stumped don't forget about the biggest E.G.G of all... His love for us, even when we don't deserve it. (Eph 2:8-9) Yup, that's my favorite one too.

When he arrived and saw the evidence of the grace of God, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts.

Acts 11:23 (NIV)

The New Adventures of Jack and Jilly

Do you remember Dick and Jane? As in Dick and Jane can run. Dick and Jane can play. Dick and Jane can jump. Well, in case you didn't know, Dick and Jane have gone away. They've been replaced by Jack and Jilly, at least at my daughter's Kindergarten. We read lots of Jack and Jilly around here now!

Kindergarten has changed in other ways too. First and foremost it is now a full day affair. I remember going myself for about three hours, having a circle time and hearing a story, practicing with the calendar, lots of play, and then my favorite subject of all- RECESS! Well now Kindergarten is a bit more serious. You know our schools here must meet their "adequate yearly progress" goals. It's apparently quite a big deal. So we need this whole day to be jam packed with learning. We get lots of homework too. Yes, after spending 7 and 1/2 hours at school, my young student is expected to do some more work when she gets home! Remind me to schedule some time with her teacher to include bed making and room cleaning (they're falling by the wayside for the sake of academic progress).

Now, it's not that I don't care about learning. I think it's great that she's mastering reading and writing so quickly. I'm sure glad she can begin to count her allowance money too. But, what I didn't realize is what else is being packed into her extended day. Her teacher sends home a wonderful newsletter every Friday letting us know what has been covered that week in school. Well, wouldn't you know? Last week along with all those essentials they did find the time to do a bit of teaching on death and divorce. Now aren't those two great letter D words? YIKES! Now, it was of course taught in conjunction with a unit on families and the changes they undergo, but still, YIKES! I wonder what's in store for next week?

Thankfully, we were able to sit down that night and spend some time talking about it with our child. We did a bit of "damage control". It all turned out fine in the end. Just thought you'd want to hear about Jack and Jilly and maybe ask your child (or student of any age) what they learned at school today?

Foto Fridays

Well for those who want to "see" just what we've been up to, tune in on Fridays. I plan to post some of our pics and give you a day off from my musings. So, without further ado, enjoy! Here we are hanging out at home, at soccer (by the way- the season's going really well and I've made it on time to ALL our games), and just doing what we do.

Soccer games and spoon wars

Sometimes you get exactly what you asked for or, in my case, exactly what you prayed for. I try hard to remember this when things get sticky, as they often do around here.

Too often I reduce my days down into one monster "to do" list and woe to anyone who gets in the way! Carpool lines can suck the joy out of anyone. Ditto for laundry, dust bunnies, and the miscellaneous stuff that my kids seem to leave everywhere.

By the way- if the man driving the white Expedition at our middle school is reading this- STOP cutting in line! You're setting a poor example for your son AND making me late!

So, as I was saying, the day to day drudgery of it all can sometimes be a bit, well, tiring. That's when I know that I've forgotten something important, that God answers prayers. He listened when I asked him to watch over my tiny preemie. To help her grow healthy and strong so she could come home from the NICU to be with us. Yup, and He helped her to grow SO healthy and strong that some 5 months later, she is already exerting her will and making some extraordinay messes in the process. He heard me when I asked him to watch over each of my children.

So the next time I'm having one of those long list days... when we seem to be running from one thing to the next... when there's not enough time to make it to soccer practice, the grocery store, and get our homework done. Hopefully I do remember that I'm running simply because my cup is running over. I'm running simply because He blessed me that much. And yes, I'm running because he answered my prayers. And I'll remember to say Thank you.

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Psalm 23:5